Here I go again...

God help me, I think it's happening again. I'm almost afraid to write it down because then it will most likely come true. Not that it would be a bad thing if it did, but I like to believe that I have more control over my life than fate. So I'm just going to put it out there and hope that I make the right choice.

I'm thinking of changing my major...again. I have done this in the past, and it didn't work out. I tried going from a CMT major to a CLD major and changed back in one semester. It's not that I don't enjoy helping people in the community; it's more like I don't enjoy living in my community because of its' unfortunate location in this ice-cold wintery state. I felt it didn't make much sense for me to be studying Milwaukee's problems when I plan on leaving as soon as I graduate.

So, I came back to my original program and after a semester of disorientation, I am finally getting back into the swing of things. However, even though my graduation date is a mere 3 semesters away, I still feel like maybe, just maybe, CMT is not the perfect fit for me. Oh, it's a good fit, that's for sure. But, it's kind of like one of those 5000 piece puzzles where the pieces seem interchangeable at first. In the beginning and middle stages of completion, it doesn't seem to matter. However, when you are nearly done, you notice that the picture isn't coming out like the one on the box. By now you are sick of this puzzle and wonder why you started such an enormous task in the first place. You know it doesn't make sense to quit when you've come this far, but you wonder what will matter more to you in the long run; the big finish or the big picture?

I started the CMT program because the combination of the three disciplines seemed like a more logical program for me. It gleamed and sparkled with the promise of a more diverse and marketable portfolio and boasted potential job titles that could provide my family with a very comfortable lifestyle. After hearing stories from my CMT professors about their dream homes, lavish vacations and prospering businesses, I do not doubt that this is true. However, the writer in me is starting to wonder if I'm doing an injustice to myself by not focusing on my one true love in an effort to get the heck out of here.

I've begun to explore the "What If?" factor of changing from the CMT to the PCM major. From what I've seen, it looks like I could still graduate at the same time, but I wouldn't need a few of the courses I'm already enrolled and quite invested in this semester. I suppose my next step would be to meet with my advisor...again. I could also try to arrange a meeting with the head of the PCM department and see if it's wise to change course so close to the end. Or perhaps I could even explore what would happen if I changed my support from Elective Studies to Professional Communication.

I'm still not clearly leaning one way or the other, so I definitely have my work cut out for me. I just want to get the most mileage out of my education that I can.